What I Want

As I was reading “Acting Shakespeare”, John Gielgud’s words struck me. He said that he never got into a Shakespeare play until he was part of it. This is exactly how I feel about Shakespeare. I have been part of four Shakespeare plays and the only ones I really like are those four. Not only that, but I took a scene study class in which I concentrated on a single scene from The Tempest. From now on, when I see the play, I glaze over the rest, but my eyes light up when I see that scene. It makes sense now.

This is what I like about Shakespeare. On the surface, they’re boring outdated plays. However, when you take the time to understand it, it suddenly becomes genius and is perfect. Without good teachers, I never would have given Shakespeare a second thought.

I feel that appreciating Shakespeare is much like understanding anything else in life. You need someone with an intense love for something silly for you to become fascinated yourself.

There are so many things that I missed out on in life because I never had someone to show me their love for something. I simply don’t get sports, I have trouble stomaching a horror movie, I get no joy from shooter games, and I never learned how to swim properly. All of these things define people’s lives and I want to understand them, but at this point, they’re just things, not loves.

I know that acting is amazing and am deeply fascinated by it, but I’m not at the point at which I love it or, honestly, really understand it. I won’t get this by merely taking a few courses and whetting my appetite. I need to learn as much as possible. I want to find the joy in spending my free time memorizing lines. I want to learn how to turn my stage fright into stage lust. I want get so into character that I forget who I really am. I want to be an actor.