Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Tape Recorder

A comic? No. Couldn't be. BUT IT IS.

Comic at the title link.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Obsessive Compulsive

This is more of a characterization piece than a story, but it's all I can think of right now. Also, I'm a bit OCD, but this character is not supposed to be like me.

Today I learned in Chemistry that the universe tends to increase in entropy. Eventually, all of existence will fall into total chaos, just gases expanded as much as they possibly can, lingering slightly above absolute zero. This makes my skin crawl.

People say that I'm strange, that I only care about how perfectly placed or tidy something is. Well I say that they can have their hobbies and I can have mine. Of course, the more I think about it, the more I realize that it's less of a hobby and more of an obsession. If there's a loose crumb that falls onto the table, I can't just leave it or wipe it with a napkin. It most go into my mouth or the trash can. Why is this so important to me? Because everything has its place.

The other day, I had to complete a Chemistry project with my school friend. He insisted that we go to his house, even though I warned him against it. He didn't seem to care at all. I knew that I was in for a rough day.

When we arrived at his room, I was in utter shock. It was a wreck. You couldn't even see the floor. There were bread crumbs all over the bed. He said something about getting us some snacks, but as soon as he left I bolted for the front door. I felt I might die if I stayed too long.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Best Craig's List Ad Ever

This is pulled from Craig's List.

new york craigslist > manhattan > rooms & shares
$1 Room for ONE DOLLAR in bright, clean apartment (Upper West Side) (map)
Reply to: [?]
Date: 2008-09-09, 1:44PM EDT
I am looking for someone to rent the spare bedroom in my spacious 2-bedroom apartment on the picturesque and desirable Upper West Side. You must read carefully, however, as this situation is not suitable for all.
The rent is $1 per month, utilities included, as long as you bake me fifty (50) tasty cookies every day by 6 p.m. If you have not completed this task by 6 p.m., I will pour vinegar on all your belongings, throw them into the street, and have the locks changed. No exceptions and no excuses. Hell or high water, those cookies better be done and yummy.
Cookies are always cookies and never biscuits. I do not eat “biscuits”.
I will decide the specific type of cookie the day before and will submit my preference in writing by 9 p.m. of that day. You are responsible for the recipe and ALL the ingredients (at your expense, of course). The kitchen is large and well equipped with cookie sheets, rolling pins, mixing bowls, etc. You may NOT hum or sing as you prepare the cookies. You may, however, recite song lyrics in a normal speaking voice.
Forbidden ingredients include anise, marjoram, allspice, caraway, and oats. I will nevertheless request oatmeal cookies from time to time and you must find a way to make them without oats. Good luck with that. The worst ingredient of all, though, is NUTMEG. If even one speck of nutmeg, even the tracest amount of the stuff, is discovered in my home, I will pour vinegar on your belongings and chuck them in the street. You may assume the locks will be changed. You may use cinnamon, cloves, and raisins, though I am rather indifferent to these and will likely not be impressed. Chocolate is encouraged, as is vanilla bean extract.
You will be given three cookie cutters: a crescent moon, a star, and a doggie in profile. All cookies must be in one of those three shapes. The doggies must be given names and all the names must be different and cute. Cuteness is my call, not yours. For example, “Smuggins” is cute but “Lionel” is not.
The cookies must be artfully arranged on a lace cloth on a silver platter and garnished. Permissible garnishes include jellied fruits and candied flowers. Sugared figs are under review, but don’t get your hopes up.
Your room contains a twin bed, a dresser, a desk w/chair, and a TV with cable access. The TV is tuned permanently to the Food Network. You may watch only shows featuring cookies and cookie by-products.
If you are interested in this arrangement, please submit the following:
1) Your favorite cookie recipe
2) A picture of tasty cookies
3) A short original poem about cookies
Thank you.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

A Message to All Hillary Supporters For McCain

I usually avoid any way of offending people, but this is the one exception. I can't understand why any self-respecting Democrat would vote for McCain. I can't even understand why a self-respecting Republican would vote for McCain! It is clear that McCain votes almost all of the time with George W. Bush and the world is slowly being destroyed because of Bush's reign. The North Pole is an island for the first time in human history because of global warming, and Bush hardly acknowledges it! The war in Iraq has cost the economy as a whole $3 trillion and this is a war that was based on lies. How are we going to pay that debt back to the Chinese? Oh yeah, and don't forget the countless lives lost on both sides. Do we want another four years of this crap? Enough with the spite game already! Hillary lost and she's not going to replace Obama no matter how much you whine! I don't want to live in a post-apocolyptic world any time soon because of your stupidity. If you don't like Obama, then look at McCain and Palin. They're even worse. If it must be so, pick the lesser of two evils. Just don't be an idiot.

If you agree with me, just make a supportive comment.

If you don't, then call me out. I'll destroy your argument.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Earthbound Live-Action

I don't know why this is hilarious, but it is.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Behind the Bad

Well, Telltale and Homestar Runner keep on delivering with content. I found this on their site today.

I Haven't Updated in a While...

Sorry reader or two. I've been busy doing actual work recently. I will continue updating soon. I just need to sort out school and stuff first.